Tuesday, September 18, 2018

my sickly family

You always hate when your children fall ill to an ugly sickness. You can’t do much for them, other than hold them while they cry. Give them pain medicine to soothe their hurting bodies and try to get their fevers down. When your babies have high fevers for days, you try every home remedy your mother taught you. You cry with them and don’t really rest until they are completely well. Mothers always worry for their children, whether they be sick or not. Do you know what’s worse than your children being sick? You, their mother being sick as well. Do you know what’s worse than that? Being 8 months pregnant on top of it all. I’ll do you one better though...what’s worse than all this? Your husband being sick as well! When your husband has a fever of 104.3, you probably start to worry a little more than normal. 

This past week has been one of the hardest, especially during this pregnancy. I felt like a terrible mother. My kids ate Nilla wafers and oatmeal cream pies all week. Oh, can’t forget the Hawaiian rolls, Xander lived on those. I had no energy to cook. It took all I could do to keep their diapers changed. As long as they were eating and drinking, that’s all that mattered. Their little mouths and throats were so sore, they couldn’t eat much of anything anyway. One of our sweet visiting teachers brought us food one night and it was wonderful. My children got a good meal and there was hardly any clean up afterwards. My sweet mother came by a few times and left food on the door, mostly Nilla wafers haha. And if they want to dunk Oreos in milk for breakfast, you better let them have those soggy milk drenched Oreos, no matter how big of a mess you already know you will have to clean up. While your whole family is sick, silly things like vegetables are not important. When they finally started wanting more to eat, I was so relieved. 

I cried everyday. Everyday was more exhausting than the one before and sometimes I didn’t know how I was going to make it. I didn’t want to do anything at all. But, my kids and Josef were still going, so I figured I must be doing just enough to keep things moving along...which was fine with me. Being sick was especially rough on Josef. Anyone who knows him knows that he can NOT sit still. Being home for days, feeling terrible, not working and being pitiful are not things he enjoys. By the end of the weekend he was about to go crazy I think, so was I. By Sunday, I almost completely broke down. The boys kept looking out of the window, longing to go outside. Fitz would just look out and cry. Fitz’s blisters were so bad on his feet that he had to tiptoe around some when it hurt too much to walk. Xander missed going to preschool so much. He loves getting out and playing and learning and will be so happy to go back. Thankfully Xander didn’t get it as bad as Fitz, and I had less symptoms than anyone. 

Y’all, hand, foot, and mouth disease is no joke. I understand that by the time your child starts showing symptoms and you realize they are sick, you could have already infected others without realizing it. But, if you have any symptoms at all, like ANYTHING out of the normal, stay home. I know it may not be convenient and mess up your plans, but others will thank you for not getting their babies sick. The hard thing is that it’s so highly contagious, and anyone can get it, it’s sometimes too late to do anything about it. This is why I skipped a check up, Xander didn’t go to school, Josef didn’t work and we wouldn’t let anyone come over. Why would I risk infecting a whole doctors office full of other pregnant women, a whole preschool, or anyone else? Use common sense people and educate yourself. Ugh.. What’s worse is I almost knew my kids would get it. I’ve bleached, disinfected, and washed clothes and sheets nonstop. I think this year is about the worst it’s ever been and there isn’t much you can do to prevent getting it. Unless you stay at home and NEVER LEAVE. Trust me, after the week we have had...it’s tempting. 


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

My Non-Grown-Up, Grown-Up Life

Have you gotten to the point in your life where you feel like a grown-up? What does it even mean, “grown-up”? Does it mean you are married with a house full of kids? Are you single with an amazing career? Are you in college and working side jobs to pay the bills? Are you automatically a grown-up when you turn 18 and graduate high school? When do you achieve the label of “grown-up”? 

It may sound silly, but sometimes I don’t feel like a grown-up. I am 27 years old, been to college, I’ve been married for over 4 years, have 2 kids & am pregnant with our 3rd. I am a stay at home mom. I’ve struggled with fertility issues and weight problems, (among other things) I have PCOS. I have so much love and happiness in my life. I, along with my husband, am tasked with the responsibility of keeping two toddlers alive. Feed, clothe, entertain, wash, change diapers, etc. Am I a grown-up yet? I guess I partly feel this way because of how I looked at adults when I was younger. As a child I had a lot of role models and people I looked up to, who I aspired to be like. My parents, my favorite teachers, the sweet lady at church and the cousin (by marriage) who felt more like aunt or sister. All of these people helped shape my idea of what a grown-up is and what kind of adult I always thought I would be. Maybe I will feel like a grown-up when I’m 70 and retired with my husband and have a house full of grandchildren. Maybe I will always be young at heart. 

There are so many things I thought I would have accomplished by the time I was a “grown-up”. There are so many things that I plan to do in the very near future. The first thing is give birth to our 3rd baby boy in 3 years! I never thought I would have children so close in age, 18 months apart and all boys (so far). But that’s just how it worked out for my husband and I. We wanted a big family and with me having PCOS worried us that we wouldn’t have children of our own. After the heartache of month after month of negative pregnancy tests and months of fertility treatments, we had Xander, our first baby boy, we decided not to wait too long to start another series of fertility treatments to have another baby. Then we had Fitz, our second baby boy 18 months later. We did the same thing with baby #3 and got pregnant our first month on fertility treatments. I have 3 months left until baby #3 is here, right after Xander turns 3! Yes, it’s a little chaotic at times, but yes, I love it! I love how close they will all be. 

I also can’t wait to finish my bachelors degree. I probably won’t get started again for at least a year or two. I plan to teach once our youngest starts school. I had some awesome teachers in school who taught me how fun learning can be, I guess that’s one of the main reasons I want to be a teacher. That, and summers off with my children. 

I love to exercise, which has been a struggle with this pregnancy. I have terrible pelvic girdle pain, which limits a lot of what I can do. I also have to be very careful with everything I eat. Not just during pregnancy but all the time, part of having PCOS. After I have this baby I will be able to take proper medication and with healthy eating plus exercise, I will be able to hopefully lose the extra weight that having PCOS has caused me to have, around 40-50 pounds. My family teases me because I have said a few times lately “here come January, I get to hit the gym”. They get to tease me because they don’t mean anything by it, but for those who don’t know what it’s like to live with PCOS, it’s a heartbreaking nightmare. I look forward to the day when I officially feel like myself, and of course I plan to go about it in a completely healthy and safe way. With PCOS, there is no “one size fits all” guide of how to manage it. There is no cure. And comments about my weight/size especially during my pregnancy are very hurtful because I am literally doing everything I can for myself at the moment. 

My husband and I love to travel. He has family all over the country that we try to visit as often as we can. But, as many of you know, traveling with small children isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, especially while being pregnant. So, I can’t wait to travel more and spend more outdoor time with my family. My husband recently went full time with his own phone repair business, leaving a different full time job where he worked nights, so we have more flexibility on when and what we can do. 

There are many other things I hope to accomplish. I know there are more things that I will accomplish that I don’t even know about yet. I will always be working towards my “grown-up” status. I have so many goals for myself and wonderful plans for me and my family.

I guess this summarizes with it means to be me, a non-grown-up, grown-up adult. 

my sickly family

You always hate when your children fall ill to an ugly sickness. You can’t do much for them, other than hold them while they cry. Give them...