Have you gotten to the point in your life where you feel like a grown-up? What does it even mean, “grown-up”? Does it mean you are married with a house full of kids? Are you single with an amazing career? Are you in college and working side jobs to pay the bills? Are you automatically a grown-up when you turn 18 and graduate high school? When do you achieve the label of “grown-up”?
It may sound silly, but sometimes I don’t feel like a grown-up. I am 27 years old, been to college, I’ve been married for over 4 years, have 2 kids & am pregnant with our 3rd. I am a stay at home mom. I’ve struggled with fertility issues and weight problems, (among other things) I have PCOS. I have so much love and happiness in my life. I, along with my husband, am tasked with the responsibility of keeping two toddlers alive. Feed, clothe, entertain, wash, change diapers, etc. Am I a grown-up yet? I guess I partly feel this way because of how I looked at adults when I was younger. As a child I had a lot of role models and people I looked up to, who I aspired to be like. My parents, my favorite teachers, the sweet lady at church and the cousin (by marriage) who felt more like aunt or sister. All of these people helped shape my idea of what a grown-up is and what kind of adult I always thought I would be. Maybe I will feel like a grown-up when I’m 70 and retired with my husband and have a house full of grandchildren. Maybe I will always be young at heart.
There are so many things I thought I would have accomplished by the time I was a “grown-up”. There are so many things that I plan to do in the very near future. The first thing is give birth to our 3rd baby boy in 3 years! I never thought I would have children so close in age, 18 months apart and all boys (so far). But that’s just how it worked out for my husband and I. We wanted a big family and with me having PCOS worried us that we wouldn’t have children of our own. After the heartache of month after month of negative pregnancy tests and months of fertility treatments, we had Xander, our first baby boy, we decided not to wait too long to start another series of fertility treatments to have another baby. Then we had Fitz, our second baby boy 18 months later. We did the same thing with baby #3 and got pregnant our first month on fertility treatments. I have 3 months left until baby #3 is here, right after Xander turns 3! Yes, it’s a little chaotic at times, but yes, I love it! I love how close they will all be.
I also can’t wait to finish my bachelors degree. I probably won’t get started again for at least a year or two. I plan to teach once our youngest starts school. I had some awesome teachers in school who taught me how fun learning can be, I guess that’s one of the main reasons I want to be a teacher. That, and summers off with my children.
I love to exercise, which has been a struggle with this pregnancy. I have terrible pelvic girdle pain, which limits a lot of what I can do. I also have to be very careful with everything I eat. Not just during pregnancy but all the time, part of having PCOS. After I have this baby I will be able to take proper medication and with healthy eating plus exercise, I will be able to hopefully lose the extra weight that having PCOS has caused me to have, around 40-50 pounds. My family teases me because I have said a few times lately “here come January, I get to hit the gym”. They get to tease me because they don’t mean anything by it, but for those who don’t know what it’s like to live with PCOS, it’s a heartbreaking nightmare. I look forward to the day when I officially feel like myself, and of course I plan to go about it in a completely healthy and safe way. With PCOS, there is no “one size fits all” guide of how to manage it. There is no cure. And comments about my weight/size especially during my pregnancy are very hurtful because I am literally doing everything I can for myself at the moment.
My husband and I love to travel. He has family all over the country that we try to visit as often as we can. But, as many of you know, traveling with small children isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, especially while being pregnant. So, I can’t wait to travel more and spend more outdoor time with my family. My husband recently went full time with his own phone repair business, leaving a different full time job where he worked nights, so we have more flexibility on when and what we can do.
There are many other things I hope to accomplish. I know there are more things that I will accomplish that I don’t even know about yet. I will always be working towards my “grown-up” status. I have so many goals for myself and wonderful plans for me and my family.
I guess this summarizes with it means to be me, a non-grown-up, grown-up adult.
